Sunday, June 19, 2011

Reoccurring Nightmare

Sitting in a dim-lighted room, frantically looking about; of course the place looks familiar, but I just can’t place it. I always seem so out of breath with wide eyes, on the verge of turning red. He just sits there with his curious eyes, watching, waiting for me to break down. He knows where I am and what I am doing, even where I am going but I still can’t figure it out.

Why does he just sit there?

Can't he see me freaking out?

I am in a glass box filling quickly with water and he just stares. My life tumbles and crashes around me, the walls slowly collapse on top of me and he just stares. I am kneeling there begging for help, begging for freedom but all he does is stare. His eyes so captivating, I fall even farther. I love him so much but the more I look into his eyes the deeper I sink into emptiness.

Why does he just sit there? Maybe he just likes to feel in control, knowing how I fail time and time again, to pick myself up. He likes to watch me in all my pain, likes to watch me suffer. He gets lit up every time I fall.

The water starts to rise again and he just disappears. He likes to see me in pain but leaves me for my death. I finally decide I'm not going to give up and break through the glass. Dripping wet of steaming hot water, I look past my bloody tears. There he is again, just watching and waiting for it to fill up again.

I cry over the screaming of my hurting heart, but he can't hear me. The only thing he wants to hear is the screaming from my heart. I kneel before him begging him to just end my suffering, my bloody tears staining his perfectness. He just looks down at me with a smile on his face, the one he uses when he lies.

"I love you." He says as he takes my hand and leads me back to the glass box, "And I will love you forever."

I climb into the box and turn to him. "I love you too." I say as he walks backwards away from me. Back to where he stares. This glass box is where I stay for eternity.

Eternity under his watchful eyes.

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Trista Siegel said...

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